The passing of time is supposed to heal all wounds and make the pain easier. However, as much as we are used to the idea that our little girl is always going to be very different, it is hard to face the reality sometimes that we will also miss out on so much. A blatant example of this is attending a wedding this past weekend and watching the Bride walk down the aisle with her Father, and the Father/Daughter dance.
A very good friend of ours got married this weekend and instead of my usual "tearing up" during the Father/Daughter dance... I found myself wondering if it were possible that Jenelle would ever marry, and if and when that day ever happened, would I be like the Mother (played by Diane Keaton) in that movie called "The Other Sister". The Mother who thinks that their special needs child could not possibly be taken care of or loved as much as she has done her entire life. Or that her child is incapable of finding love and living a full life in that way. And then I realized the change in myself. Instead of knowing Jenelle would never have a chance at any of that - I see that I now have hope that things can be different for her, and perhaps in a way "normal."
Last night's season premier of our favorite show House had me thinking about that as well. One story line was about a man who was paralyzed who drove his wheelchair into a pool in what they thought was a suicide attempt. The wife told Dr. House, "You are the first doctor to ever give a damn about his quality of life." Boy, does that sound familiar. Dr. House of course found a cure for the man and at the end of the show. After a simple injection - the manstood up, spoke and hugged his wife. We're still looking for Dr. House. And in today's world of advancing science - I know there is hope for Jenelle.
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Not much new to report these days. Jenelle starts school again tomorrow, and unfortunately has been taking some bruising from her recent falls out of bed. Last week she actually reached out to pet a friend's dog - something I never imagined would be possible. And I swear... She is so close to communicating and possibly saying that first word with meaning.
Last night, the kids were with Brett's Aunt while we went to an Angels game. When we picked them up, Aunt Nicki informed me that Jenelle said loudly "Mum" and Jack told Nicki that Jenelle was calling for me. Sometimes Jack likes to make up things he thinks Jenelle is saying. Maybe he does understand her in some way? I sure hope so!
The photo above is the first I've ever caught of Jenelle wearing a baseball hat. Usually they do not fit or she pulls them off before the camera can catch her. The hat is from Grandma & Grandpa as a souvenir from their trip to the Little League World Series. Isn't she sweet? And so big!
I'll keep you posted!
5 comments:
This is a really good post. And I think , for myself, this is just one thing I can't even come close to understanding. I have NO CLUE what it feels like to be the parent to the mom of a child like Jenelle. No clue. You give us a glimpse into that world.
I can't imagine the thoughts I would have had at that wedding.
The truth is that no one knows what the future holds for Jenelle and it can be as bright as her determination makes it.
Chin up, mom!!!
If Brett's Aunt heard her distinctly say "Mum!" then I think I'd be inclined to believe it! :)
I think with the advances (although a tad slow) that medicine is making she can have a very bright future. As her parents you seem to do everything you can to give her the tools she needs, I can't wait - perhaps 20 years from now you'll be posting about her father/daughter dance.
I say anything is possible. No one thought Jay (my cousin) could live on his own - and he does that and more. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! HUGS
Great entry! If there is something out there that will help Jenelle, I know you will find it. I really do love that picture of Jenelle. It is so expressive.
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